Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I always wanted some of the perks of the famous, but this is ridiculous

In the three plus years that I have been diagnosed with MS there is one thing that I hear more often then anything else, "Did you know Montel Willams has that?" The answer is of course, "yes." or I hear "Richard Pyror died from that, right?" Well, no, not actually died from it, but he was in pretty bad shape because of it.

I hear about Teri Garr or Meredith Vieira's husband (Richard Cohen, sorry Richard, don't mean to make you live in the shadows of your wife, but it's what I hear). I think the unflinching cruelty really hits home though when people realize that even the great Andrew "Squiggy" Squigman from "Laverne & Shirley " can be cut down by this disease. There is no justice. So I guess I could be in worse company. However it is a club I would gleefully rescind my membership from. I know we all would.

I hesitated to start this blog. There is a certain level of feeling so self conscious about writing about myself, but more to the point I am not sure that I can adequately express myself on the subject of MS. While those of you who know me are well aware of my disposition to make an ass out of myself on a daily basis, I'm not sure that MS is the right subject for me to discuss.

Let's be honest, I am a huge ass. This is one of my God given talents. However when it comes to my health, my disease, are jokes appropriate? This leads me to one of the things I tell people. I have to laugh because if I start crying I don't know that I can stop. This is true for all of us. There are terrible things all around us, and if we really stopped to truly digest it I'm not sure that any of us would go on. However that being said, I don't plan a laugh riot here. Just a few thoughts on the things I am going through.

If you are reading, and you have some words of encouragement, advice, thoughts, please let me know. If you know me, you know I love to talk about myself. If you don't, you are reading a blog about me so I would guess it's pretty apparent I like to talk about myself. I'm not trying to be conceited though, just trying to make sense of something that has no answers.


Heather said...

No real advice here... but I have come to find that blogging for me has been extremely therapeutic. When I have had bad news w/ this pregnancy, I actually feel better after I write it all out on the blog. So anyway, like you said, even though this may feel weird at first to write about yourself and something so personal, it may help you deal with it.

As always, you guys are in my thoughts and prayers. Let me know if you need anything. We could just talk Twin Peaks if you want!

B.H. Smith said...

Well, Ben -- until recently *my* disease really only had former MTV personality, Revlon model, and correspondent for Michael Moore's Awful Truth, Karen "Duff" Duffy. But now I've got (had, gulp) Bernie Mac on my Team Sarcoidosis. (I think Reggie White too.) It's an incredibly frustrating disease and I've done predisone, methatrexate, plaquenil, remecaide -- so consider empathy properly shared. I'd keep going with this blog -- if just for yourself -- and while I don't Heather, I too can just talk Twin Peaks if you want. ("Your gum's back in style.")

B.H. Smith said...

I meant "while I don't *know* Heather..." My bad.
LEO: (through spittle) New shoes.

Anonymous said...

I think this blog will be a great help for you Ben. You have a gift of writing and I believe you will learn about more people who have had MS and how they cope with it. I have been offering my days up in prayer for you. My heart aches for what you are going through and never a day goes by that I hope and pray that this burden is lifted from you. Love, Regina

Heather said...

b.h. smith... I don't know who you are, but I like you already. When that cute tall old guy said "that gum you like is going to come back in style", it was one of my most favorite TP moments.

Bald Ben said...

Look at that already bringing people together. However I could have just introduced you. I didn't have to get an incurable disease for this introduction to happen.

"Nothing like the taste sensation when syrup (loud clap) collides with ham!" - Dale Copper TP

Joan said...

Ref your question: "However when it comes to my health, my disease, are jokes appropriate?"

My favorite quote: "Humor makes honesty possible." I agree