So I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Well, in a perfect world this is what I would have done. In reality it was more of a quick hop onto my feet and as I lifted my leg to make for the bathroom I realized that my left leg was not ready to hold all my weight. I mean, why would it? Who am I to expect such a thing? After all my leg was tired too, it had just been in a nice cozy warm bed and I am supposing that it wanted to stay there just as much as I did. Alas I had to be the one in charge and get ALL of my body parts to be moving. You see this doesn't work so well if only a handful of you want to function at the same time. I find the best results occur when we all work as a team to accomplish the task at hand. So I placed my hand on the wall, "See," I said in a pseudo mocking tone,"left hand is working pretty well, at least he's giving it the old college try." I think being compared to the left hand might have done the trick, I mean the left leg is no dummy and he realizes that the left hand is vilified in many cultures. It wasn't long after that, that left leg began to cooperate and we were all able to make it to the bathroom. A quick wash up, toothbrush, etc (I mean you gotta smell half way decent) and low and behold I hear my boy Emmet up and at 'em. Your about 45 minutes to late kid, but I'm glad you got a good nights rest. Then down the stairs to kiss the kids, the wife, and out to my trusty steed Toyota Yaris to take me to the infusion center.
Once at the center it was pretty par for the course. I was in a different room this time, but it was pretty comparable to yesterdays. This one didn't have as much indoor/outdoor carpeting but the chair actually seemed a bit more comfortable.
The other friendly nurse came in flushed my line, luckily all was in good shape. Apparently there was a bit of apprehension after yesterdays fiasco of trying to find a vein. Both very friendly nurses were relieved. I suppose so was I.
They hooked me up by 9:40am. I asked about the lag in time from my entry to the actual IV beginning and the very friendly nurse explained to me that they actually have to mix the solution when I get there, today some of the solution wasn't dissolving as quick as they would like. I figured it was a good enough explanation. I got comfortable in my chair and they gave the prerequisite medications that some how I was never told I needed to take. Something I forgot to mention yesterday was that they have you take some Tylenol and Benadryl before they start you off. There are a few side effects that everyone else forgot to mention to me the 12 times I asked about them like a rash, headache, or aseptic meningitis. Yeah they seemed real concerned about the meningitis. Although somehow I don't think either the Benadryl or the Tylenol are going to really stave that one off.
So they started to drain the bag into my arm while I deftly killed today's Philly Inquirer crossword puzzle in like 20 minutes. This turned out to be a good thing, seeing how as I picked up the Metro and started their puzzle my brain began to malfunction a bit. I just couldn't concentrate on it. I mentioned my lack of concentration to the very friendly nurse and she pointed out that the Benadryl may have begun to kick in. I like that answer as opposed to the alternative (and obvious) that I just didn't have the intellect to conquer that puzzle. I'll have to revisit it later. I can't let that bastard puzzle get the best of me. I can hear it laughing at me from here.
This room, like the other, had a TV and also like the other room was connected to Direct TV. I have cable at home, a
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1pm rolls around and I hit the button for the Chill channel, I am sure you see where this is going, channel unavailable. Unavailable? How rude is this? Not only have you given me an incurable disease you pull this crap on me? Wow, this really takes some stones, if you weren't omnipotent I think I'd ask you step outside, but seeing how you are omnipotent I'm not sure where outside would be for you or where you would stand.
With my dreams crushed I talked with both very friendly nurses for a bit, took a look at a crossword puzzle, and by 2pm it was time to go home. Day 2 finished.
So in the immortal words of Spec. Agnt. Dale Cooper: Gentlemen, when two separate events occur simultaneously, pertaining to the same object of inquiry, we must always pay strict attention.
1 comment:
Classic. Love it. I was in the middle of your post, thinking why didn't Ben share with me on the phone that he watched TP yesterday? And now I know why. What a bummer. But what a superb use of one of my favorite Coop quotes.
O, the kid as an alarm clock has failed John many a time. Just when you think you can count on your kids to get up at 7 AM, they decide to sleep until 8. Go figure.
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